Diary of a Death Eater
by redneckmama
Summary: A diary is found in the rubble of Malfoy Manor. What clues does it hold to the location of several people who are missing from the Wizarding World?
1. Years one thru four

A/N--- This is years one thru four. From this point on I will not be following the books. This story will end up SLASH. If that's not your thing I'm sorry. This chapter does not have any slash so don't be afraid to read it though. I would like to thank my beta Nikky, I love ya. Now on with the story...don't forget my muses live off of reviews so please review.

Diary of a DeathEater

The diary was found in the rubble of Malfoy Manor after The Great War. Narcissa Malfoy had died in the final battle; she was hit by a stray curse while tending the wounded. Lucius and Draco were last seen at Narcissa's funeral, they disappeared shortly thereafter.

They were not the only post-war disappearances. It seemed the war-hero's had also vanished. Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, in mourning for their fallen friend Ron Weasley, could also not be found.

Fred and George Weasley recovered the diary. They were searching for clues to find the missing Malfoy's. Draco and Lucius had redeemed themselves during the war. They proved themselves by saving the twins and Ginny. They were now hero's in their own right. The Weasley's had volunteered to search for them.

The twins could not know that the small green book they had found in the rubble would be the answer. They could not know that they would solve the greatest mystery in the wizarding world. Where were Harry, Hermione, Lucius, and Draco?

Dear Diary,

I met him today. The obnoxious-boy-that-lived. He didn't seem special. He looked ordinary. How he ever vanquished the Dark Lord is beyond me.

I came upon him in Diagon Alley. He was arguing with Draco. I told Draco to play nice. I couldn't have the boy be suspicious of me. After all, he didn't even notice I'd slipped the Dark Lord's book in that Weasley girls' cauldron.

I don't know much about the book just that it would cause trouble when opened. I hope it's something good. I love it when that old fool, Dumbledore, is flummoxed. If I can cause enough of a nuisance maybe then I can get him out of the school.

I got the book from an old friend. He didn't tell me where he got it just who it belonged to and that it would cause trouble. Oh well, at least now it can't be traced to me. It will be traced to those poor bastards, the Weasley's.

I don't know why they choose to live the way they do. They have so much potential, but they refuse to act on it. I hate people who refuse to act on the opportunities given to them. At least it gives me a reason to insult them. I do so love insulting people; it makes me feel better about me.

Well, my son is beginning his second year at school. I wish he would find a better use of his free time than getting into trouble. Although it is good to know he loves egging Potter on. I tried to get him to befriend the boy last year, but the boy had already befriended the Weasley boy. I was extremely upset when Draco told me his overtures of friendship had been rejected. I guess if they can't be friends at least they could be casual enemies. Just so long as no one gets hurt. I love my son and I do not want him killed or imprisoned, and I don't want the Potter boy harmed either.

People think I am against the boy, but I want him to live. If the Dark Lord returns, we will need the boy to defeat him even _I_ know that. Why would I want the Dark Lord dead? Well, I guess because my life is better since he's been gone. I don't want to lose everything. Actually, I could care less about muggles and Muggleborns. As long as they realize that purebloods are better, I don't care about them one way or another. All know is that we need the boy. So for now I'll cause trouble for him, but I'll not harm him.

Dear Diary,

Well, let's see. A lot has happed since I last wrote. The Weasley girl opened the book and then the Chamber of Secrets opened.

I had to tell Draco everything I know about the chamber. It wasn't much. I just know that only the heir of Slytherin could open it and that it hadn't been opened in 50 years. I also told him that the last time it was opened a mudblood died.

So far, a few students have been petrified but no one's been killed. I didn't think the book would hurt anyone. I hope that the Potter boy is smart and stays away from this. We can't have him getting hurt now, can we?

I'm not really worried about Draco because he's a pureblood. What ever is attacking students only goes after the Muggleborns. I told him to keep an eye on Potter. He said that it would make him look suspicious but I told him to do it anyway.

They have been talking about closing the school due to these attacks. I hope they find the book or Ms. Weasley, if not whatever is in the Chamber. I don't want the school closed. I can't keep watch on the boy when he isn't at school. I have to make sure he stays safe. He must defeat the Dark Lord I will not be his puppet again.

Dear Diary,

That damn snot-nosed brat. He made me lose my temper. I nearly cursed him. I nearly **killed him.** He cost me my house-elf, and insinuated that **I** was the cause of the Basilisk's attacks.

Yes, that was what the diary unleashed. A Basilisk. That's what was attacking the students. I wish I would have know that. I never would have willingly unleashed such a beast in the school; especially knowing that my son and Potter were in the school.

The boy, that damn boy, he had to go and save the day…again. He was nearly killed by the fucking thing. By some unknown miracle, he was saved. Thank Merlin. What would we have done if he'd been killed?

Then, he had to go and threaten me. ME! He also had that nosy old coot threatening me. Now he's going to be keeping a close watch on me and Draco. Damn that boy.

Dear Diary,

All hell is breaking loose. A madman named Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban. No one has ever escaped before they don't know how he did it. He's the first to ever have done it. Now dementors are all over the damn place searching for him. He is a murderer. He's also a devout follower of the Dark Lord. He must have been really close to him because even I didn't know about him. Well, he killed a bunch of people, they put him away, he broke out and now it seems he's after Harry.

I know why he's after the boy. I even explained it all to Draco so that he'd know to keep a close watch on the boy. Sirius is the reason Harry's parents died. He betrayed them. He told the Dark Lord where to find them.

I hope Harry doesn't go looking for him, though. I know he probably will. Damn boy has a hero complex.

Speaking of the damn boy, he ran away from home. He blew up his aunt and ran away. It's a good thing he called the night bus and went directly to the Leaky Cauldron. Who knows what might have happened. Didn't he know there was an escaped convict looking for him? Stupid boy.

Dear Diary,

Damn old coot. I can't believe Dumbledore appointed that oaf Hagrid to teach Care of Magical Creatures. My Draco was horribly mauled by a fucking Hippogriff. Thank Merlin he's ok, but what if he'd have been killed. What if Harry had been hurt? Harry is in that class. I can't believe Dumbledore would place his golden boy in such harm. Maybe I need to find away to be closer to the school next year. I'll think about that.

I've decided to press charges against the Hippogriff. I will see to it that the damn thing is executed. Maybe I can get that Groundskeeper to stop teaching too.

I still can't believe that with all the threats against Potter they would put him in more danger than necessary. Black is still out there. He broke into the school. Granted no one was harmed, except for a painting. What would have happened if Harry would have been in there? How did he even get in the castle?

I swear it keeps getting harder to keep tabs on that boy.

Dear Diary,

Well the school year has come to an end and the boy is still alive…barely. I guess I've done my job. It was hard though. He was almost kissed by a Dementor and nearly attacked by a werewolf. I don't know exactly how it all happened, but it seems that the Golden Boy and his tag-alongs ran across Sirius Black on their own. They tried to apprehend him but their DADA teacher, Remus Lupin, tried to attack him and the convict escaped. (Mr. Lupin, it seems, is a werewolf and Dumbledore allowed him to teach. How am I to protect the boy when the Headmaster is repeatedly placing him in harm?) The Dementors swarmed the location, and for some unknown reason, attacked Harry. It is still a mystery how the boy managed to drive off his attackers, but somehow he did.

That nutter, Sirius Black, did escape, however. Seems he broke out of a holding cell in one of the Hogwarts towers. It also seems he flew away on the damn Hippogriff that supposed to be executed for attacking Draco. Is there no protection at Hogwarts? Just what does that old fool, Dumbledore, allow to go on at that school?

I hope Harry takes better care of himself during the summer. I can't very well keep an eye on him at his aunt and uncles.

The summer…shit. I almost forgot. The finals for the World Quiddich Cup are to be held here this summer. Everyone who's anyone will be there. I just know the boy would like to come. Maybe I'll find away to make sure that the Weasleys get tickets, and make sure that their seats are near mine. Hmmm…I'll have to see what I can do. At least he can't get into too much trouble if I have my eyes on him. I wonder how much this is going to "cost" me.

Dear Diary,

The finals of the Quidditch World Cup were last night and let me tell you it was an utter fiasco. First, I had to put up with all those Weasley's in the top box. Of course, I had made sure they received the tickets through a contact in the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Then, I noticed myself staring at the boy. I don't know what came over me. There I was watching a ver uninteresting match when my gaze was drawn to him. Sure, I am always think of him, but usually it was about how to protect him. Now, I was noticing that he was incredibly good-looking, granted it was in a ruff-and-tumble kind of way. I couldn't believe I was thinking of him that way. I must be sick. Iam a married man. Granted, not a happily married man, but still, I'm married to a woman. Not that I haven't had male lovers. I had. But fantasizing over Harry Potter?

Then, he noticed I was staring. My eyes locked with his sparkling emerald ones for just a moment. A jolt of lighting ran through me. I quickly turned my look into a sneer and looked away.

After the match, I was going to return hom with Draco, but I came across several Death Eaters discussing plans to have some fun. They were going to cause a little trouble. I knew what kind of fun Death Eater's had. I had to get Harry out of here. A quick curse sent into the Weasley's tent should awaken Arthur. Sure enough, shortly after I sent the curse towards the tent, their was Arthur sticking his head out to see what the commotion was. He saw the Death Eaters, who were now tossing muggles into the air, and went back into the tent only to reappear telling the children to run. Good, but then with everyone screaming and yelling I lost track of him. That was when the Dark Mark was blast into the sky. Damn fools. The Death Eaters vanished. I searched the area and found Harry standing amidst a large group of adults. I breathed a sigh of relief at finding him okay. I then retrieved Draco from the trees and apparated home.

Now here I am lost. Trying to decide what my motivations are for protecting the boy. Have I always been attracted with him on some subconscious level? Is that why I'm so keen on his safety? Is he the reason I wish the Dark Lord vanquished? So many questions. So little answers.

Now, with what's coming up at Hogwarts, the Triwizard Tournament, I'll have to see him on a reqular basis. How am I ever going to act normally now? I suppose I will have to keep a low profile. He should be safe with the extra attention the school will be getting. At least I don't have to worry about him entering; he's too young. I have warned Draco. He's not to attempt to enter and he's to thwart all of mr. Potters attempts also. I know that boy. He will try.

Well, I guess that's all. For now. I have some deep thinking to do.

Dear Diary,

Bloody Hell! I don't know who or how but some how someone managet to hoodwink the damned Goblet of Fire into making Harry the fourth champion in the Triwizard Tournament. I can't believe it. He shouldn't be allowed. He should be disqualified. It's too dangerous. How could this be allowed? He's supposed to be kept safe at Hogwarts not put directly into the line of fire. That damn Dumbledore! I thought that with Mad-eye Moody as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher the boy would be relatively safe.

You should have seen his face when they called his name. No way did he do this himself, he was too shocked, too confused. Well, at least I know he isn't stupid. Having spoken to Draco, I know he didn't even try to enter. It seems the boy isn't as fool-hardy as I thought. Maybe there is a worthwhile brain inside that beautiful head of his.

Wait…did I say beautiful? What am I thinking? I can't seem to get him out of my head. Maybe he put a spell on me? No, that can't be it. He could never do that. I have too many protections on my person. Hmm….

Anyway, I suppose I will have to stick around Hogwarts for the time being. Who knows who is trying to kill the boy. Well, maybe that's not the right question. Everyone knows there are many people trying to kill the boy. The only problem is that there are too many possibilities. I must find a way to figure out what is going on. I must not fail Harry.

Dear Diary,

Well, the first task was tonight. They had to get a golden egg from a dragon. I made sure Harry was tipped off as to the dragons. I simply mentioned in the oaf's presence that Harry would never have a chance the against dragons, especially since he had no idea about them. If only he had some kind of warning about what was to come. Of course the oaf went running off to warn Harry about them.

He was a sight to behold. He looks so at home an a broom. I should have known that after seeing him during Quidditch matches, but today I really saw him. Hair blowing in the wind, cheeks flushed with excitement, lips pursed with determination, gorgeous eyes sparkling, he was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

He captured his egg easily despite having the most dangerous dragon, the Hungarian Horntail. He was the quickest to retrieve his egg. He is now tied with the Drumstrang kid, Krum.

I'll bet that whoever is trying to kill Harry is feeling a little discontent about now. I'm extremely impressed. I must admit I did not believe the boy had it in him. He is proving to be a better man than I gave him credit for.

Dear Diary,

The Yule Ball. An excuse to see Harry Potter in dress robes. He was stunning. I must admit he cleans up well. Those robes fit him perfectly. However, I can't help but imagine him without them.

He led the first dance, but he did not look comfortable out there. Maybe it had something to do with his date I noticed he did not give her any other attention the rest of the night.

He sat across the room and glared at me. I glared back. What did I do to gain his attention? It took everything I had not to smile at him. Not to flirt with him. He would have hexed me on the spot to be sure. Any glimpse of kindness from me would have made him suspicious of me. He thinks I hate him. If he only knew how I really felt. What would he do?

Draco, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying himself as much as I was. He kept glaring at Victor Krum. I wonder what his problem was with the Durmstrang champion.

Dear Diary,

Task two down. Bloody boy nearly gave me a heart attack. The task was retrieving a friend from the bottom of the lake. Once again I made sure the boy had a little help. I first made sure Severus had gillyweed in his private stores. Then, I made sure the idea came up in a conversation between Minerva, Mad-eye and myself after I noticed my old servant, Dobby, listening in. I knew he would run and tell Harry.

The champions had one hour to complete the task. Harry took the longest. Once the hour had past, it became extremely hard not to jump in the water myself to rescue him. As it was, I was standing with Draco. It was difficult to appear unconcerned for Harry's welfare.

Draco was acting odd as well. I could swear the boy was nervous until he saw Ms. Granger appear. It seems she was Mr. Krums prize at the bottom. I suppose I shall have to have a talk with Draco.

But back to Harry. He was the last to surface. He brought two captives with him; the Weasley boy and the Beauxbatons girls' sister. He apparently waited at the bottom of the lake until he was sure all captives would be rescued. Damn noble Gryffindor! He could've drowned trying to be noble.

It's no wonder he's the Savior of the Wizarding World. He has to save everyone. Doesn't he care for himself? What about his wants and needs? That boy needs to be taught what is important in one's life, your family. Family is the only thing worth risking your life.

Then again, why am I risking everything for him? If the wrong people find out I have been helping him all this time my life would be forfiet, my families lives would be forfeit. Why do I do this? I can't seem to stop. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to him. I can only be happy if he's safe. He will not be safe until he defeats the Dark Lord. I must keep him alive until then. I must help him win.

Dear Diary,

I fear something terrible is coming to pass. The Dark Mark is becoming clearer on my arm. He must be getting stronger. I worry for Potter. She the Dark Lord return he wouldn't stand a chance. I don't believe he is strong enough to defeat him…yet.

Something is going to happen soon. I know it. I've made several discreet inquiries and have learned nothing.

The final task is at hand. I've learned it's to be a maze filled with different kinds of challenges. I know the champions were informed of the task ahead of them so at least Harry had the opportunity to prepare for anything he may come across. I checked on all the creatures and am sure that there are non that would kill.

Merlin, I do hope he is careful.

Dear Diary,

It finally happened. I knew it was caming yet I was powereless to stop it. I can't think of anything I could have done.

The Dark Lord had returned.

It's just that simple. Somehow he had the Triwizard Cup turned into a portkey. When Harry and another boy touched it they were taken to him.

He killed the other boy. He then performed some kind of ceremony to restore his body. I'm not sure exactly what happened as I was not there at that time.

He called us all then. I was both shocked and afraid to feel the burn upon my arm. I apparated to his side, fearfully.

The sight that beheld my eyes stopped my breath in my throat.

Harry was being held against a statue of some kind, his arm bleeding. I wanted to rush to his rescue, to hold him and tell him it would all be ok. Fear made me stay. The Dark Lord addressed us all. Once he was through, he turned to Harry.

He forced Harry to a duel. The Dark Lord shouted the killing curse. My blood ran cold. Harry shouted a spell to disarm. Somehow the spells interlocked. I've never seen anything like it. Several ghostly images appeared out of the Dark Lords wand. They swarmed him and Harry made a run for it. He grabbed the body of his fallen classmate and then was gone.

The Dark Lord took out his wrath on those of us assembled for awhile. Once allowed to leave, I returned to the school and the throng of the crowd around Harry and the dead boy. No one even had noticed I was gone. Harry was rushed away by Mad-eye and shortly afterwards Dumbledore and Severus followed. I found out later that Mad-Eye was an imposter. Some Death Eater using Polyjuice. He was the one that had tried to kill Harry. The Dementors gave him the kiss.

Well, at least Harry is safe for the time being. With the Dark Lord being back, I can't say it will stay that way. Looks like I'm going to have to try harder to keep the boy safe.


	2. Ootp

Disclaimer: I own nothing but a P.O.S car and three kids.

A/N: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed. I'm so sorry it took so long to update, real life kind of got in the way. I have no excuses so I'm not going to give any. I was going for a desperate Lucius in this chapter, I hope it came across. Please Review and let me know if I got it right.

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Dear Diary,

With the Dark Lord back everything has changed. It's harder to keep tabs on Harry. If **He** were to find out my intentions he would kill me without a second thought. I have to be more cautious.

The Dark Lord is keeping a low profile. He's ascent didn't' exactly go to plan. He had meant to kill Harry and than rise to power, leaving the wizarding world with out its hero. However, Harry escaped and now plans have changed.

**He** has seceded to lay low. He was sure that as soon as Harry announced his return they would come after him. Unfortunately, that's not what happened.

No one believed Harry! Can you believe that? The so-called Saviour of the Wizarding World and everyone thinks he's daft. Only Dumbledore and his "Order" know he's telling the truth.

The Dark Lord has made the following plans:

Retrieve the prophesy concerning Harry and himself.

Recruit more followers.

Keep a low profile.

That's it. I've been set to find a way into the Department of mysteries. I'm to find this so-called prophesy.

All I can think of is Harry. He's back at the muggles this summer. I hope he can stay out of trouble.

I've learned that Sirius Black wasn't after Harry. Turns out he's Harry's godfather. An unregistered animagus named Peter Pettigrew had framed Black for his crimes and had betrayed Harry's parents. He is a Death Eater. Of course I only found this out after speaking with Peter himself. He is always with the Dark Lord. Not his right hand man, more like a man servant.

Maybe now that Harry has both Black and me looking after him, he will be safe. I do not trust Dumbledore. I think he has his own agenda and is using Harry as a means to and end. We shall have to wait and see I'm afraid.

Dear Diary,

I knew that boy couldn't stay out of trouble. He had a hearing at the Ministry today. I went, of course, to find out the truth of what happened. I missed the hearing; however, it seems they changed the time on me. I spoke with Cornelius and he told me his theory on what happened. Needless to say I did not believe his hypothesis. I simply went and read the transcripts of the trial to get Harry's story.

It seems a dementor attacked Harry and his muggle cousin outside their home. A dementor! I actually agree with the old coot, Dumbledore. Someone at the Ministry sent that dementor. The Dark Lord hasn't got any dementors on his side…yet.

Now, as if I haven't got enough of a problem trying to make sure the Dark Lord doesn't go after Harry himself, I a have to worry about the Ministry.

I saw Harry this morning. He looked dreadful. All this stress must be getting to him. I want to go to him and make him feel better. To make him forget…everything…for now.

Dear Diary,

It's the start of the school year. Draco has been made a prefect. I told him that now more than ever he is to keep an eye on Harry. He knows what my intentions are. I keep no secrets from my son. He has also confided in me his feelings for the muggle-born, Granger. I've told him not to pursue the relationship unless he feels it to be a long-term thing. It would look bad if he were to use her then throw her away.

I have not been completely honest with him, however. Hell, I have not been completely honest with myself either. I have not told him my real reason for keeping the boy safe. I haven't even spoken it out loud. I am infatuated with the Harry. He haunts my dreams at night, my thoughts during the day, and wherever I go I worry about him.

I saw them on the platform this morning. I accompanied Draco to the train. He arrived with the Weasley's as was the norm. Only he also had a large black dog with him. Sirius Black. First, I thought that this was a good thing; obviously Black is keeping a close watch on the boy. On second thought, however, Black is putting himself at risk by showing himself in public. I made sure to mention this to Draco. Draco would surely inform Harry that Sirius had been recognized.

The boy must be more cautious. I've learned that the Ministry is going to try to rein in Hogwarts this year. That means they are going to interfere. They've appointed that foul, little toad, Delores Umbridge, the new DADA teacher. That can only mean trouble.

I shall have to maintain contact with Draco this year. I must stay informed as to Harry's well being and safety. I will not let anything happen to him.

Dear Diary,

Something strange is happening. I think I almost have it worked out. It seems that there is a connection between the Dark Lord and Harry.

The Dark Lord had sent his snake, Nagini, to check out the Department of Mysteries. I, myself, have tried to gain access using any means available. So far all my "attempts" have been fruitless. Thus, the Dark Lord decided to check for himself. The only way he could do this is by possessing his pet snake.

While the snake entered the Department he noticed that someone was guarding the hallway. Of course we already knew that the Order was keeping watch. I had already used one of these guards, under Imperious, to try to gain access. I do not deny that. I want to hear that prophesy myself. I need to know for Harry's sake, at least.

Now it just so happens that on this night the guard is no other that Arthur Weasley. The Dark Lord decides that this is fortuitous and attacks him (in snake form). He then leaves him there to die a slow painful death. However, this was not to be. Within a few minutes, help was already on the way. He was located and rushed off to St. Mungo's.

It seems Harry had a vision of the attack as it occurred. I believe Harry's and the Dark Lord's minds are connected by that damned scar. I do not know if the Dark Lord has discovered the connection yet. If he has this could prove disastrous. I shall mention this to Severus today. He will, of course, mention it to the meddling old man and they will find a way to protect the boy.

The Dark Lord is obsessed with this prophesy. He thinks it will provide him with the knowledge of how to kill Harry. I hope he never hears it. I only want Harry to hear it. There may be beneficial information in that orb. Harry may find out how to defeat the Dark Lord once and for all. I want that more than anything, and somehow I know that the only one who can do it is Harry.

Dear Diary,

Sorry it's been so long since I last wrote. A lot has happened lately. I've just looked back to see what was last written and it was the attack on Arthur. It seems so long ago.

The Dark Lord found out about the link between Harry's and his minds'. He used it as only he knew how. He set a trap.

He sent the boy images of Black being assaulted and subsequently tortured in the Hall of Prophesies. Everyone knows about the boy's fondness for his godfather, and about his reckless habit of saving people. The Dark Lord knew he would try to come to the rescue. It was the perfect trap.

And Harry fell for it. The Dark Lord knew he would. Harry even brought friends. Stupid boy. He had to have known it was a trap…didn't he.

Draco says he tried to stop them. He had him at wand point in that bitch Umbridge's office. Of course it didn't stop there. That silly little girl, Granger, came up with some half-brained story of a weapon in the Forbidden Forest and Umbridge fell for it. She decided it would be alright to follow the three (Harry, Weasley, and Granger) into the forest. She also decided that it would not be a good idea to allow Draco and his goons to accompany her. She ordered them to keep watch on Harry's other friends. Of course, as soon as Harry and the others were out of sight, the other students attacked Draco. They stunned him and ran off to join Harry and the others in the forest.

Draco ran to contact me. He said he was sure they were running directly into the trap. I awaited the Dark Lords orders and went along to the Department of Mysteries.

We (the other Death Eaters and I) arrived before Harry and his unlucky band of loyal misfits. We awaited him in the Hall of Prophesies. I just realized I don't even know how they found their way there.

Once they arrived, Harry picked up the prophesy and from their the fight ensued. Bellatrix, of course, had to open her rather large mouth and the students scattered. Death Eaters began throwing a large number of hexes at the students and I was pleasantly surprised by the number of hexes being thrown back. The fight spilled out of the Hall and into a number of other rooms off the main hall.

I didn't pay much attention to who was fighting whom. My undivided attention was on Harry. He threw a few minor hexes at me and I simply shielded myself against them. Somehow, we ended up alone in the main hallway. I yelled at him to smash the prophesy and listen. He was confused. Didn't I want the prophesy for my master, he asked. I told him that the only person that should hear it was him. He simply had to smash it…quickly.

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally heeded my advice and smashed the orb on the ground. A disembodied voice began speaking and I turned away. I did not want or need the knowledge of the prophesy. It would only be used against me.

I turned back to Harry as he turned to enter a room off the hall. I followed him. Upon entering the room, I immediately took notice that the room was empty except for a veil of sorts hanging in the center of the room. I also took notice of the duel that was taking place in the room.

Sirius Black and Bellatrix were fighting each other and holding nothing back. I surmised that the Order of the Phoenix had arrived and Harry would now be safe. At the next moment, Bella fired some sort of stunning hex at Black. It nearly hit him full on, however, he dodged out of the way at the last second. In his attempt to dodge the curse he tripped and was falling towards the veil in the center of the room. I acted instinctively. "Accio Sirius Black."

Sirius flew away from the veil and towards me. Bella rounded on me immediately. Shock registered in her eyes as she comprehended what had happened. I knew in that moment that I was done for. I cast the killing curse and foolishly saved myself.

The moment Bella's body hit the ground I was running for it. I had to escape and escape I did. I don't know if I merely got away due to Harry and

Sirius' shock at seeing me kill my sister-in-law or the shock of knowing that I had just saved their lives. Whatever it was I'm just glad I got away.

I found out later that the Dark Lord himself had shown up at the Ministry that night. He apparently dueled with Dumbledore and somehow escaped unscathed. However, the damage was done. Too many people saw him there. His ruse to keep a low profile was blown. Now, of course, everyone acknowledges that he has indeed returned.

What should I do now? Should I contact Harry and explain myself? What would I say? Will he believe me? Could I possibly earn his trust?

I don't know, but everything will change from here on out. Now my only hope is to make it out alive.

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	3. Questions and Answers

Warnings and Discaimers---I dont own a damn thing. This will be Slash if you dont like it don't say I didn't warn ya'.

Big hugs and kisses to all who've reviewed. I'm now making this up as I go along so if you have any ideas or suggestions feel free to let me know. Love ya. Enjoy.

Dear Diary,

I have either done a terrible thing and will end up paying with my life, or I have done the one thing that will save my family and my life forever.

I have contacted Harry Potter.

I still don't know what I'm going to tell him. I can't very well tell him the truth.

Maybe just enough of the truth to sound believable.

I absolutely can not tell him about my feelings for him. I'm not sure myself what those feelings are. I care for the boy…no wait young man…but I also feel a strong attraction to him. He is just a 15 year old boy. Sure he is wiser and stronger than most his age but that doesn't change the fact that his is 15. I am not a pedophile. Then why do I want nothing more than to make him mine forever…heart, body and soul.

Dear Diary,

I have received a reply from Harry. I am to meet him in a private room at the Leaky Cauldron later today.

I don't believe I've ever been this nervous before. I can feel the butterflies in my stomach. My palms are sweaty and my heart is racing.

I've decided to bring Draco along. He will wait outside the room until I know that it is safe to bring him in. I do not want to go alone and Draco has an equal stake in these matters.

I will continue this after the meeting….

Dear Diary,

I've just returned. I don't believe what just happened. To say I'm in shock is putting it mildly.

Draco and I arrived ten minutes early and I secreted Draco into a dark corner to await my command to enter the room. I entered the room slowly; I did not know what or whom to expect.

Upon entering the room I was met by a man I have never met before, or at least never seen before. I quickly did a visual check of the room and noticed it was nearly completely dark.

I also had the feeling that we were not alone in the room. I could distinctly feel like I was being watched.

The man was tall, nearly as tall as I am, with shoulder length black hair. His eyes were a deep blue, one could almost get lost in them forever. He was well dressed and moved gracefully. His other features were all common, too common. I quickly deduced that this man was using a glamour. At first I believed it to be Harry, but I quickly rejected that opinion. The voice was not right.

We exchanged polite hello's and then he quickly got down to business. I was offered tea and immediately knew what their plan was. Veritaserum. I knew that there would be no way out of this. I accepted the tea and sealed my fate. I knew that they would only trust me after hearing the truthful answers to their questions, and I was asked a fair few questions.

I will simply list their questions and my answers as that seems to be the best way to go about this.

-What is your name?

Lucius Abraxas Malfoy

- Are you a Death Eater?

Yes, but not a faithful one.

- When did you decide to betray Voldemort?

Since before Harry Potter defeated him as a baby.

-What changed your mind?

I did not agree with his views any longer, and quite frankly I was perturbed by the torturing and killing of Muggles. I do not condone those acts and I refuse to be a part of them. I refused to accompany Death Eaters on the raids and when forced to I attempted to rescue those I could.

-Have you plotted, in any way, to kill Harry Potter?

No, I've spent the last five years trying to protect the boy.

-And Tom Riddle's diary?

I was told the diary would not harm anyone. I did not get it through any Dark contacts. I did not know it was Lord Voldemort's. I just thought it would cause a little mischief. I wanted Harry kept on his toe. I didn't want him to let his guard down.

-What else have you done to protect Harry?

I have tried to keep my eyes on him. I make sure he was in my box during the Quidditch World Cup, I warned Arthur Weasley of the Death Eater raid, I sent Draco to find him during the raid, I made sure he was warned of the Dragons, I told Severus to keep gillyweed on hand and mentioned it to Minerva in my old house-elf's presence, I make sure Draco kept and eye on him at school, I made sure the prophesy was shattered before the Dark Lord heard it, I saved Harry and Sirius Black's lives in the Department of Mysteries, and I KILLED Bellatrix knowing it would place a very large target on my head.

-Why do you protect Harry?

He's the only hope our world has. I know he is the only one that can defeat the Dark Lord. He will save us all, and…

-And?

And because I am in love with him.

-WHAT! How in bloody hell are you in love with him?

I have watched him for afar for all these years. He has grown and matured well. He is strong, confident, brave, cunning, intelligent, and wise beyond his years. He is also scared, unsure, he feels unloved and used, and he hides all his insecurities behind a mask. (A lot like me.) He has far more to fear than anyone yet he manages to put on a brave face for the world. I am truly proud of him and I am incredibly scared of him. He feels alone in the world even among his friends and family. He feels so much love, honor and duty for the world he keeps none for himself. I would give him that love. I would give him my life!

Just then Harry stepped out of the shadows.

"Did you mean that?

Every word.

"And what of Draco?"

Draco? Well why don't you ask him yourself. He is waiting just outside. Should I call for him?

"Yes."

I stepped outside and brought Draco in. Sirius administered Draco some Veritaserum. Draco sat down and they began to question him.

-What is your name?

Draco Lucius Malfoy

-Are you a Death Eater?

NO WAY IN BLOODY HELL!

-So then why do you act like such a spoiled git?

I must keep up appearances. It wouldn't look good if the son of a supposed Death Eater was all nice and cheerful, would it? First off the rest of the Slytherins would probably kill me.

-I thought you believed in all that Mudbloods are scum stuff?

No. I believe muggleborns should have better preparation for our world and that full-blooded Witches and Wizards shouldn't procreate with muggles. If they keep reproducing with non-magic folk magic itself will eventually die out. The same goes for purebloods. We need to mix our blood with the muggleborns for the same reasons.

-So you have been keeping an eye on me at school?

Sure someone has to watch your back, but you keep making it difficult. With that damned invisibility cloak you make it impossible.

-Why were you staring at Hermione during the Yule Ball?

(Getting a little off the subject, aren't we Harry? Asked Sirius.)

(I just want to ask a few personal questions. Leave me alone.)

(Ok. Ok. Ok.)

Because I like her.

-Like in a romantic way?

Of Course! What other way is there?

After this the glamour dropped on the young man to reveal Sirius Black. Harry and Sirius exchanged a glance and ten asked us to leave. They had to think on all that was said.

Draco and I returned to the Manor and here it sit. I wonder if I did the right thing. Harry and Sirius now know all my little secrets, what will happen now? I fear the future. It is all suddenly so unsure. I do not know where to go from here. I suppose I shall wait and see what happens. After all what choice to I have now?

Dear Diary,

I have been contacted by Harry again. It's been a long agonizing week since I saw him last. With each day that passed found myself growing more and more worried. I wondered if he agonized over his thoughts as much as I have. Probably more so, seeing as I have had years to come to terms with my feelings. I wouldn't blame him if he hates me more after all of this. After all, I've been nothing but a complete bastard to him all these years. He has hated me for so long. Why should that change now? Can it change?

I am to meet him tomorrow. I am to bring Draco with me again. We are to meet at the same place as before. My nerves are acting up already. I shall post another entry upon my return from that meeting. Until then.


End file.
